I have three little boys. I ask for a lot of favors.
I ask for help with rides to and from school, practices and parties.
When friends go to the grocery store and call to see if I need anything, I say yes.
I quietly refrain from offering to host festivities or dinners or really anything at my house anytime, ever.
When I go out with more than one friend, I don’t volunteer to drive because I’m unwilling to wrestle and ratchet the car seats in and out of my car to make room.
Going places with any combination of my kids is tough and generally involves crying, darting and grabbing anything within arms’ length. And I’m crying, darting and grabbing too. Not so lovely. Not so fun.
And having people over at my house with any combination of my kids at home (and where else would they be?) is tough and generally involves crying, darting and grabbing anything within arms’ length. And I’m crying, darting and gabbing too. Not so lovely. Not so fun.
Maybe if I had a guesthouse or a tree house or even a tent where we could hide from the kids, I could host a holiday party. But I don’t, so I don’t.
And please don’t even get me started on the car seats. I’ve lost more than a fair share of blood, sweat, tears and fingernails over them. They are locked, loaded and not going anywhere until I know they are gone for good.
I have three little boys. I ask for a lot of favors.
But fortunately, for me, I have wonderful, generous and loving people in my life willing to do those favors. I have the friends who host the parties, carpool my kids and offer to drive to sushi. I have the friends who babysit and buy me groceries.
In fact, after our twins were born, I have a friend who, on several occasions, picked up my big kid after preschool, fed, bathed, pajama-ed, and returned him home five minutes before bedtime.
I have a friend who baby-proofed my house.
I have a friend who took my big kid out to lunch with her sons.
I have a friend who handed me up her kids’ clothes, gear and toys and saved our Christmas a few times over.
I have friends who loan me everything from Band-Aids to oregano so that I can avoid another trip to the store.
And these lovely favor givers never ask, nor expect me to settle up. They don’t count the marbles in their jars or the tallies on their sheets. They just do it out of the kindness of their hearts—those wonderful, generous and loving hearts.
So to my friends, my offerors, my heavy lifters, and the genies in my lamp, I say thanks.
Thank you for stepping in and stepping up and for never, ever keeping score. Thank you for all that you do and for not asking for anything in return.
Thank you for understanding that I might not ever be able to pay you back.
But I do promise you one thing.
I will return the favor someday to someone else.
One day I’ll be on the other side of this frenzy. My kids won’t be so unmanageable, my house will have some space and calm, and the car seats will be gone. And then the hosting and the rides and the grocery runs won’t seem so ill-fated.
When that time comes, when it’s my turn, I promise I will be a genie too. I will make the offers and I will give the rides. I will do the favors and I won’t keep score or expect anything in return.
When my time comes, surely there will be another frazzled mom who needs a helping hand. And I will be the one to step up.
But I won’t do it for her.
I’ll do it for you.
KID